The Everyday Trainer Podcast
Embodying balance as a trainer: How to show up for dogs + people
Hey y'all. This week is one for the fellow trainers. Whether you're a professional trainer and work with tons of clients and dogs or you're just a trainer to your personal dog, it's important for us to be able to embody balance in our lives so we can show up as the best version of ourselves.
We all know dog training is so much more than just training- it's about showing up as a calm, confident leader. To do that, we have to take care of ourselves first.
In this episode, we chat about how you can integrate self-care and mindfulness practices into your daily routines, how to not take things too personally, how to always lead with compassion and show much more. All things that will lead to intentional communication and less burn out. You know the drill, grab yourself a tasty drink and enjoy.
If you're interested in joining our September Leadership Retreat follow the link HERE
Hey y'all. This week is one for the fellow trainers. Whether you're a professional trainer and work with tons of clients and dogs or you're just a trainer to your personal dog, it's important for us to be able to embody balance in our lives so we can show up as the best version of ourselves.
We all know dog training is so much more than just training- it's about showing up as a calm, confident leader. To do that, we have to take care of ourselves first.
In this episode, we chat about how you can integrate self-care and mindfulness practices into your daily routines, how to not take things too personally, how to always lead with compassion and show much more. All things that will lead to intentional communication and less burn out. You know the drill, grab yourself a tasty drink and enjoy.
If you're interested in joining our September Leadership Retreat follow the link HERE
Hello and welcome back to the Everyday Trainer podcast. My name is Meg and I am your source for all things dog training. On today's episode, we're talking about embodying balance as a trainer how to show up for all your dogs and people. We're going to talk about taking care of yourself first. We all know that you can't pour from an empty cup. How we can bring mindful awareness to how we show up in a room, both physically and mentally, how not to take anything personally, and so much more. So you guys know the drill. Grab yourselves a tasty drink and meet me back here. Hello, hello and welcome back. Y'all Always happy to be here. Y'all know this is my favorite space to show up in and I am truly grateful for each and every one of you each week that you just you know you're here, you're listening, you're part of the community. So today we're talking all about.
Speaker 1:You know ourselves as trainers, and this can either be you you know training your own dog or this can be you know helping others. Whether you have a business, you're starting a business, but you've kind of broke into the world of dog training. You've got bitten by the dog training bug and we all know that dog training is so much more than training dogs. It's really like a great way to get in tune with yourself. Dogs are expert body language readers. They're experts at, you know, picking up the little things that we kind of often overlook as people. So it's really important that we understand how we show up as you know people, what kind of energy we bring into a room, how we can basically put our best foot forward and be the best dog trainer leader, you know, in our community towards our dogs, towards the people that we're helping right.
Speaker 1:So this week I have my Olipop. I think I had an Olipop last week. It pretty much my tasty drink is just Olipop, especially because I've been recording these episodes from my bedroom at night. If I record it in the morning, I'm usually drinking coffee in my van, but you can hear we're a little bit echoey this week again because I'm recording from the house. We got Florida summers man, it is brutal. I cannot hide away in my van anymore. You know, just a few little life updates. I'm still continuing training out of the house.
Speaker 1:Actually, if you're listening to this episode on the day that it comes out, which would be the 31st May 31st if there's 31 days in May, if not June 1st, should probably look at that. If you run a small business, you know that days of the week just don't mean anything. We don't really have days off here. But if you're listening to this episode off here, but if you're listening to this episode as it comes out, I'm actually recording this the night before. It's actually not too late.
Speaker 1:I have to be very transparent with you and sometimes when I record the podcast it's like 3am you know the morning of me releasing it and I'm like I have to do the podcast. And also I enjoy doing it at night because I feel like I get to kind of like decompress. I don't have to worry about like responding to clients or text messages or phone calls or all the things that come with running a business. I get to just kind of like sit in my little chair with my little drink and talk with you all. So in this episode I really wanted to bring attention to ourselves and how we show up in the world, because you know it's just it's time for that check in. We got to check in with ourselves and this is kind of like a you know, practice what you preach, preach what you practice.
Speaker 1:I'm in the same boat with y'all. I know I mentioned briefly this week that I am like past the point of burnout. I have just like worked myself into oblivion. I'm incredibly grateful that, like, this is an option for me and that I have, you know, the opportunity to work with so many people and talk with so many people and help so many dogs and help so many owners. But like, holy goodness, it is just sucking the life out of me and I'm just like counting down the days until my next vacation. And you know I do have some life updates for you and I always tell you guys first, obviously, because you know the podcast is my favorite place to share all my deepest, darkest secrets and feelings. And what's going on next and I hinted a little bit about this last week but I will be hosting a retreat. I'm extremely excited about this.
Speaker 1:We have been working on this for such a long time, ever since we, you know, finished our in-person shadow program in January. I really wanted to focus on having a retreat style program. So mid-September we'll be doing a leadership retreat. So we all know dog training is so much more than just dog training and there are endless amounts of resources on how to train a dog. But if you're a new trainer, you've probably consumed just copious amounts of you know content around how to train a dog and there's not a whole lot out there for new trainers looking for. You know the leadership and interpersonal skills that we need to really thrive as dog trainers. We all know that it's so much more than just training a dog. It's how we show up, how we walk into a room. You know the skills, the expectations that we set for our clients, like the way that we communicate to them. All of that is so, so valuable in being a successful dog trainer and coach and leader in this industry and in this space. So I'm hosting a retreat that's going to revolve around building the leadership skills needed to be the best dog trainer that you can be.
Speaker 1:In the past, we've done a in-person shadow program where I essentially focused a lot on the hands-on skills and dog training handling skills needed to be a dog trainer and what I really found is that a lot of the people you know they did learn a lot, but at the end of the day I'm not reinventing the wheel. None of us are like, if anything, we're all kind of doing the same stuff. It's just coming through a different filter. So you know, I have learned so much from trainers like Michael Ellis and Forrest Mickey and I've taken the things that they've learned and it's, you know, been filtered through my experiences, the way that I talk, the way that I communicate to you know kind of break down training information in a palatable way that people that are similar to me can consume and apply. So with the, you know, in-person shadow program that we've done, I really focused on the handling skills. But, like I said, at the end of the day I haven't reinvented the wheel and so a lot of feedback that I've gotten is like wow, it's been so great. You know we've learned so much. But most importantly, it built up my confidence in my skills and showed me that, you know, I was on the right path and I was doing the right things, and even the people in our virtual shadow program kind of told the same things.
Speaker 1:I like to keep my training very, very simple. You know, everything that I do revolves around what's the most sustainable for my clients and my owners, and usually that goes back to keep it simple, stupid kiss, keep the training as simple as possible. Simple is sustainable. So that's really what I've kind of revolved all of my content around is, you know, making dog training digestible and simple for dog owners and dog trainers. But now I really, really want to focus on the personal development, interpersonal communication, leadership skills that are needed to.
Speaker 1:You know, walk into a room and have that client trust you fully. How do we build up trust with our clients? How do we communicate? You know difficult topics. How do we navigate? You know, problems in our business, because if you're a dog trainer, you're most likely a business owner and you're going to come across areas of conflict, whether it's with clients, whether something happens to a dog. Maybe you have a client that you know doesn't, isn't on board with something that you do, maybe they're not on board with e-callers or you know. Whatever it may be, and it's our job as dog trainers to be able to effectively communicate these sorts of things to our owners in a way that we get through to them.
Speaker 1:And a big area that I find a lot of trainers struggle in is those interpersonal leadership skills needed to walk into a room and have the confidence to coach somebody with their dog. So many people have the skills. They've done the research, they've watched the videos. They just need a little push in the right direction. They just need that little confident boost to show them like you got this, you can help people. And at the end of the day, my goal really is to help as many dogs as possible. Right, if you're a dog trainer, you're in it because you're passionate about helping dogs and owners. You most likely, you know, had a behavioral dog and had to really like dive into dog training and now you're living a better life than you would have if you hadn't known about training. And so when that happens, we want to share that with as many people as possible. And so my you know outlet to kind of do that, to help as many people as possible, is to help people with the leadership skills that they need to succeed as trainers. So we're going to touch on those today.
Speaker 1:But if you are interested in our retreat, it's going to be in the desert of Joshua tree. At this beautiful, beautiful retreat like literally gift from the heavens One of my clients, um, who participated in a previous shadow program her mom actually owns this space and you know I was talking to her about my idea of the retreat and Joshua tree and she was like, oh my gosh, you know my mom has a space where I do that and it was just like one of those things where it was just meant to be. So it's really awesome. This is going to be your opportunity to work with me one-on-one. I essentially want to be your mentor. I have, you know, run a dog training business for the past six years. I've trained thousands of dogs, thousands of owners. I've had a staff of trainers. I've, you know, run a successful dog training business for years now and I want to help you with yours.
Speaker 1:So it's going to be a five day retreat in Joshua Tree. We're going to have yoga, we'll have a private chef. It has a pool, like it is gorgeous. I'm so excited. I'm going to be leading it and staying there, so I would love to have you there. This is something that it's like I'm getting so excited about and I can't wait to share it with all of you. So I'll include the link in the show notes for information on that. Essentially, you'll just fill out a form and we'll get in contact with you and set up an interview with you to make sure that it's a good fit for you. That's kind of how we do things around here.
Speaker 1:So, going off of that, I want to kind of cover some of the topics that I, you know, am going to be covering in the retreat. Obviously, this is an hour long podcast. We're not going to be able to cover everything in depth, but I do want to kind of like get you thinking about things right, because you know, if you're a new dog trainer or you're just passionate about dog training, maybe you kind of see yourself being a dog trainer in the future, but you're like I don't really know. These are all things that I wish you know I would have known years ago, and it's something that my mentors work with me on. I'm truly blessed to have some, like awesome people who have mentored me in the past, who continued to mentor me, to support me, and, you know, at the end of the day, my goal is to really just share as much knowledge as I can. So let's go ahead and dive into it. We're talking about embodying balance as a trainer and how to show up for dogs and people.
Speaker 1:Let's talk a little bit about how to, you know, avoid that burnout. I know dog trainers talk about burnout so much. It's very common in any sort of you know caretaking industry. It's a 24 seven job. We don't have days off. You know you're dealing with live little beings. Things are going to happen.
Speaker 1:Last week was a really rough week for me. I had a client, who you know, whose dog bit somebody. My dad's dog has cancer and they're dealing with that. I had another dog this morning that got sick. Like it's so much more than just behavioral mod. It's like how you handle conflict, how you can, you know, take this sort of like really heavy information and not let it get to you.
Speaker 1:Dog trainers talk about burnout so much and it's because you know dog training is a really emotional thing. It's a very draining thing and if you're not taking care of yourself first, you're not going to be able to show up for the dogs and people around you. So let's talk about what self-care as a dog trainer looks like Now. I have been going to therapy for five years, no longer six years. Six years. Every single Tuesday at 7 pm I am in therapy. I am truly blessed with the most wonderful therapist. She is like I'm serious, like I was really blessed with her. I don't think I could have gotten through half of the things that I've gotten through. She kind kind of jokes like ah, I got a front row seat to this show right, because my life has just felt so dramatic. Dog training is so, so rewarding, but it is also very draining and difficult.
Speaker 1:And if you don't take care of yourself and if you don't have the right like systems in place friends, family, therapists, you know even just time to check in with yourself, community like you are going to fall apart. So let's talk about what self-care looks like me a lot about is, you know, even in the moments where you feel like you have no time, right as a dog trainer, or even if you're a dog walker, like any sort of professional in the industry, you're always putting the dogs before yourself. Right, like I would not eat until 4 PM. I was accidentally intermittingmitting fasting for so long because you're so concerned about taking care of all of the animals in your care that you're like whatever, like I'll be fine, and you just completely neglect taking care of yourself. So even on those days where you feel like I can't step away, I don't even have time to eat, I don't have time to do anything, I guarantee you have two minutes.
Speaker 1:One thing that my therapist always pushes me to do is you know, I'll hop on therapy and I'll be like panting and she's like what are we doing? Like I just got back from walking dogs or I just finished a session, like ran to my you know therapy session, and she's like you know what? That could be a good opportunity to take two minutes and breathe. Before we get here. You always have two minutes. It doesn't matter if you have you know two minutes or 30 minutes or three hours. You have to take the time to breathe, to show up for yourself, to just take a few moments.
Speaker 1:And in the past I've always kind of been like an all or nothing person and I'm like, well, if I don't have you know 10 minutes, then I'm not even going to take a break at all, or if I don't have a day to check out, then I'm not going to take that break at all. It was like you know all or nothing. I either needed a day going to take that break at all. It was like you know all or nothing. I either needed a day, a full day off, or I was just going to be working 24 seven. But one thing that I always, you know, preach to my trainers and my clients and all of my owners is take a deep breath. You can always take two minutes to take a deep breath, breathe in, check in with yourself, check in with your body. It seems so, so silly, but anything is better than nothing. I would rather you show up for yourself for two minutes in between a client than be racing from one thing to a next.
Speaker 1:And in dog training, I'm really big on slowing down, slowing down each of our steps right. So when I get a dog in, they're typically very pushy, they're very impulsive, they're very reactive, and so we take opportunities like the crate door, having our dogs pause and slow down at the crate door and having them pause and slow down when we put on the leash and pause and slow down when we open the door, because those are moments of checking in, those are checkpoints for your dog. It's so easy for the dude, it's so easy to do this for dogs, but for whatever reason, when it comes to ourselves, like we can't do it. So I want you to treat yourself like a dog and, even if you don't have 30 minutes to put yourself on place or an hour to you know, read a book or do what you like, escape a little bit in between the things that you need to get done, you can always. You always have two minutes at least and just breathe and check in with yourself and you'll find that it really sets you up for whatever your next task is. So, for example, today has been a busy, busy day.
Speaker 1:I did not want to sit here and record this podcast, and it's one of those things where you know it's always beforehand where I'm like, oh my gosh, I have so much to do, like I have to go walk the dogs, I have to potty the dogs, we have to, you know, clean the house. My house is disgusting right now. We have I have a pile of laundry that's literally like four feet tall in front of me, okay. And so my brain is like I have all of these things that I have to do. I don't have time to like check in with myself. I come into my room, stare at the four foot tall pile of laundry, sit in my little chair, breathe for two minutes. I checked in with myself.
Speaker 1:Where do I feel the anxiety in my body? For me it's kind of like right on my sternum, like just above my stomach gets really tight. Okay, that's kind of what I label as anxiety. Breathe through it, keep breathing, checking into that space. You'll find that it doesn't last. Those feelings, those feelings of anxiety, doesn't last, don't last. But if we don't take that time to check in, we keep fueling that anxiety or that state of mind that rushes us from one thing to the next. And if we are asking our dogs to pause and check in with us, we need to do the same.
Speaker 1:And that's why I talk so much about, you know, place as meditation. Place is so difficult for dogs. You know the crate is so difficult for dogs because they're not used to sitting still, and the same can be true for us. So, practice what you preach, preach what you practice. Right, if we're preaching to our owners and to our dogs of, you know, pausing and slowing down, we need to do the same. And remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup. So it's unfair to for you to show up and try to help a dog or try to help an owner when you're not even helping yourself. I promise you it is very unsustainable and it will lead to burnout. And trust me, burnout is not pretty. To burnout, and trust me, burnout is not pretty, it does not feel good. It's a tired that cannot be slept off. Okay. So take, take my warning. Take some time for yourself, even if you feel like you have no time Now.
Speaker 1:The next thing I want to dive into is I want you to be mindful of how you walk into a room and this kind of plays in on checking in with ourselves, right? So you know, when I used to do daily training, I would essentially book my schedule with in-home lessons all day, and one thing that I did very intentionally is I would stand outside the person's home and before I walked in deep breath and, realizing that I focus a lot on breathing, okay, so I would take a deep breath before I walked into a person's home because I wanted to be very intentional with the energy that I brought into that person's home, that I brought into a person's home, because I wanted to be very intentional with the energy that I brought into that person's home, that I brought into that lesson, that I brought to that dog, to that person, right, I wanted to make sure that, even though I saw, you know, five other clients before my last client of the day, that I didn't bring any of that other energy, that previous energy from those sessions, into this one. I needed to be very intentional in the way that I was showing up Now, pausing, taking a deep breath is very helpful before we walk in, but it's also helpful to not just check in with our breath but check in with our physical body. I mentioned this a little bit and kind of like feeling the anxiety, feel the tension in your body. So take that deep breath. Where do I feel tight? My shoulders are a little bit tight. I realize I've been, you know, rolled over most of the day, either driving around or, you know, holding dogs back, and my shoulder is a little bit tight. Focus your energy on your shoulders. Relax your shoulders.
Speaker 1:When you walk into somebody's home, be confident. Be confident. Walk with your arms down to your side. We don't want crossed arms. Body language is everything. We know that we're dog trainers. Right, we need to be relaxed, we need to be confident and we need to speak with authority. Is simply the confidence. They have all of the skills, they know all of the answers, but they think that they don't. So you are the professional. You have positioned yourself as the professional. As long as you're acting within, you know your scope of knowledge. We never want to do things that we feel you know unfamiliar with, because that could be unsafe for the dogs and the people that you work with, but as long as you work within your scope of knowledge, you are the professional the person has hired you to help them. Because you are the professional, you have the experience and you need to walk into the room as such. Some of the most successful dog trainers and leaders in the industry that I know have such an amazing presence to them, and the thing is, it can be taught and it can be practiced.
Speaker 1:People ask me all the time, like how I got so good at speaking, how I got so good at you know feeling comfortable talking into a camera or talking in lessons or standing in front of a good at? You know feeling comfortable talking into a camera or talking in lessons or standing in front of a group of you know, however many 30 to 50 people and teaching them dog training things. How do you feel so confident about that? I feel so nervous. Honestly, I faked it until I made it. I put myself in the position I embodied the leader that I wanted to be physically right.
Speaker 1:Who would I take directions from? It's not somebody who's like um, uh, you know, with shoulders rolled forward or twiddling their hands or arms crossed. You know, I want to take advice from somebody who is confident in the way that they speak, who holds eye contact, who you know stands up straight, who acts like they belong in a room. And it takes practice to get there, but it starts with bringing awareness to how you currently show up. So the next time you go to either do a lesson with your own dog or a lesson with a client, or even just you know for me it's walking into my training room I'm going to take a deep breath. Outside of that, I'm going to walk in confidently, I'm going to be calm, I'm going to be authoritative and I don't want you to think of authoritative in a bad way. I think sometimes it can kind of get a bad twist to it but you really are the authority figure. You're the authority figure because you're there to help, you care about these animals, you have the knowledge and you're able to show up and help. You know dogs and people. So be confident in that and let your body, you know, embody that Kind of similar to dog training.
Speaker 1:I tell people that you know a dog's mind is going to follow their body. If we can get a dog to physically settle, their mind is going to be more relaxed. So even when we can't get their mental state where we want, we can work on physically getting them where we want. You know this is things like place or a down out in public. A dog might be a little bit nervous, but if we have them sit and settle the mind is going to follow that. So it's the same thing for you. Even if you don't feel confident, embody what confidence looks like and your mind is going to follow your body.
Speaker 1:The next little piece of advice that I have for you don't take anything personally. This is so much easier said than done. I had a little mentee bee this morning because I had a client that was concerned about the progress that their dog was making Cause. One of the things that I do is I kind of show like the areas that dogs struggle with. And the reason why I show like the downsides of the dogs is because that's the reality of dog training. You know I get dogs with behavioral issues. We got to work through that. We work through a sticky stage, you know. But obviously that can make people upset, like nobody wants to see their dog struggling and you know this person reached out to me a little bit upset. I took it very personally when I really shouldn't have. You know, I'm very confident in my abilities and I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1:And I have to understand that dog training is very emotional. It's very emotionally driven. It's driven by you know your owner's emotions. If you're the dog owner in this place, like it's, it's hard to separate our emotions from you know our dog's behavior. And so, as a dog trainer, when it comes to helping people or growing your business, like I find, especially with women trainers, that we take everything so so personally. Just because something doesn't play out exactly how you like or somebody's upset, it doesn't mean that you're a bad trainer, that you're a bad person, that you shouldn't be doing this. It's all part of the journey.
Speaker 1:And if I could give any advice to younger me, new dog trainer, me, it would be don't get hung up on the perfectionism so much and don't take it personally. It's usually not personal. Just like dogs, we all act on, you know, a little bit of reactivity. We have a stimulus where you have a trigger, we respond to that stimulus. It's emotional. It's typically not directed at us personally. So don't take it that way when you take things personally in your business or, you know, in training. Even with my owners, they'll get very shut down if they have a bad training sessions with their dog and it'll be like oh my gosh, I'm doing the wrong things Like I'm. You know, ruining my dog's life Like this is horrible. We take it very personally. It's not personally. Take a deep breath, we move on. We show up better next time. That's all we can do. There's no, you know, benefit to ruminating or thinking that we're horrible people. If something happens or whatever it may be, just don't take it personally.
Speaker 1:When you find yourself getting really upset by, let's say, a comment on social media, maybe you spend all of this time to make a post talking about crate training, spend all of this time to make a post talking about crate training and you're like oh yes, I'm so excited about this, I'm going to help so many people, so many people are going to view it, it's going to do so good. It blows up. You get a whole bunch of hate comments right Directed at you, but you have to understand that it's not personal. Separate yourself a little bit from it and you'll realize that you know people are just reacting, just like dogs. It's all the same stuff, and the sooner that you learn to not take things personally the more confident and, you know, powerful you'll be in showing up for your dogs and people.
Speaker 1:Next, let's talk a little bit about creating a routine for yourself that includes self-care. So, you know, talking about integrating two minutes here and there into your routine is great but honestly it's kind of survival mode. That's like the bottom of the barrel, like that's that's, you know, the least that we can do for ourselves. It's extremely, extremely important, just like with dogs, that we set a sustainable routine up for ourselves. Now, I am not a routine girly at all. I I don't know, I'm kind of difficult. I'm like a difficult dog to train because I do well with routine but I hate it. I hate doing the same thing every single day. I can have like a general structure of a routine, but I will essentially self-sabotage because I'll get bored and I'll be like, oh, I'm going to go on a road trip and you know like, get out of my routine because I'm bored.
Speaker 1:But looking back in my life and in my business, the times where I've been the most successful and have felt like the best version of myself, I've had some sort of routine that involves self-care, checking in with myself. You know more than just those two minutes and making time for life outside of my dog. That's a huge one, especially in dog training. This is something that my therapist preaches to me day and night. Is you have to do something outside of your passion. You're going to get compassion fatigue. I have gotten compassion fatigue, let me tell you. So essentially what that is is you love doing something so much that you do it so much until you hate it.
Speaker 1:Now, if you love dog training and you love, you know, helping dogs and helping owners the best thing that you can do, you know, in showing up for yourself and your community, is to integrate time during your day or during your week where you can step away from your passion. It will allow you to do it for longer and not reach that point of burnout and inevitably be able to help more dogs and more people from a place of wholeness, not a place of burnout. So what does that look like For me? I have a few non-negotiables right. So one of them is therapy, tuesdays at 7 pm. For me, it's so much more than just therapy. I don't have the kind of therapist where I'm like, oh, here's all my problems and like we dwell on things like. That's not what it is at all. It's genuinely like a check-in, just like how we integrate these little check-ins with our dogs during the day.
Speaker 1:For me, tuesdays at 7 pm, that's a time where I know I don't book anything for myself. I don't book lessons, I don't book, of course. I've been doing it for six years, so I've had, you know, a handful of weeks where I haven't been able to make it. You know whether a lesson runs over longer or I'm traveling and, you know, can't make it, or even sometimes I'll, you know, go to dinner with friends, because that's what's more important that day for me, that's the thing that's going to, you know, fill up my cup the most. But Tuesdays at seven, blocking that off is a non-negotiable for me. I will never book things during that time, because if I don't at least make an hour a week for myself, I am going to be a holy terror and I'm not going to be able to show up for anybody. I'm not going to be able to show up for anybody. I'm not going to be able to show up for my dogs, for my clients, my clients dogs, my partner, like none of it. So that is my like bottom of the barrel. That's like the one thing that I have to do, regardless of what's going on in my life Now, when things are going good.
Speaker 1:Another little thing that I like to integrate on, you know, my mornings is I like to wake up and I like to drink my coffee. Okay, this is something that is very important to me. I like to have my little morning routine. It's genuinely 20 minutes, it is like it. It's what keeps me going, genuinely Like. If I do not take some time in the morning for myself, I will wake up, check my phone immediately. I have a million text messages because everybody texts me in the morning and I will panic and I'll be like oh my God, there's so many things to do today. I got to let dogs out, I got to respond to these people, I got to book sessions, I got to, you know, phone calls, sales calls, all of these things and I will work myself up into a frenzy in the morning first thing, and that will set the tone for my day. Not going to lie, that was my morning this morning.
Speaker 1:This morning was a shit show. It started so early. I saw like a negative post about me. It affected me. I took it personally. I, you know, vented to Tori, my assistant. I'm like why is this happening? Blah, blah, blah. That was how I started my day. Today was wild. That set the tone for my day.
Speaker 1:So on the good days, you know I'm not perfect, trust me, but on the good days I take my mornings to myself, before the dogs, before anything else. I wake up, I make my coffee and I sit in my little camping chair on my front porch and I watch the hummingbird come and drink out of all the flowers. I swear to God, that's what I do every single morning and if I didn't see the hummingbird every morning, like I think I would lose my mind. It's the only thing that keeps me sane, because it's just like a nice little moment of perspective, like you know how, when you go to like the mountains and you're like standing at the top of the mountains and you like look out and you're like, wow, this is beautiful, like so much perspective, like I'm just this tiny little ant on this little planet. Or like you go to the beach we went to the beach, you know, a couple of weeks ago in the morning and watch the sunset and I was like this is what I needed. I need a little bit of perspective. Well, that's my partner and Zoe and my little hummingbird and we just kind of sit there, enjoy your coffee, take some breaths. Okay, now we can get into our dog training.
Speaker 1:It really sets the tone for how my day goes. And that little bit of routine, like it matters. Those little moments really matter. Like it matters. Those little moments really matter, especially when you have a job that's 24 seven and never ends, and that's really something that you know I hope I've taught. You know all of the people who have worked for me is like, if you grind 24 seven, there's always going to be a list of things that you have to do. Like you're never going to get caught up, All you're going to do is burn yourself out. So take little moments throughout the day to check in with yourself, to set the tone for how you want your day to go. So that morning porch time where I get my morning light and drink my coffee and watch my little hummingbird, it's what keeps me showing up every day and it seems so silly, but those little moments are going to be so, so important for you, especially as you grow into a dog training.
Speaker 1:You know, dog trainer or leader in this industry, like we need people who are tuned in and checked into themselves, because you know, Lord knows, there's a lot of egos in dog training and we want to lead by example. So it all starts with taking care of yourself. Now some other suggestions for routine for you that either I currently do or have done in the past. Of course, exercise. We preach exercise to our clients. We talk about the importance of getting your dog outside, exercising them essentially more than you think. Right, because a lot of dogs are working dogs like the Aussies and the Border Collies and the Shepherds. They need that physical exercise to thrive mentally. It's the same thing with you.
Speaker 1:Dog training is a very physically taxing job and if you don't push your body, if you don't work your body, it's going to just crumble away. Trust me, I've gone through stages. I've gone through stages where I'm super committed and I'm doing Olympic lifts and I'm doing Pilates every week and I feel amazing. It is like night and day in my routine and how I show up for those around me. Night and day in my routine and how I show up for those around me. I find that when I'm very anxious, I will go and take myself for a walk with no dogs right. Just getting out and doing something physical really really helps your mental state and it's all intertwined.
Speaker 1:I always talk about looking at dog training holistically. We're looking not just at the problem behaviors, but we're looking at the dog's state of mind. We're looking at the food they consume, the amount of time they spend outside, what their daily routine is, how we interact with them, what sort of state of mind do we foster. All of those things the same stuff applies to us. So I do think it's very important for you to have some level of routine If you're the type A structured person you know God bless you Like. We need people like you in the world. Lord knows, I am not like that.
Speaker 1:Have a checklist for yourself. I know people love lists. Get into the routine of you know. Have a whiteboard or have a notebook where, in the morning, you write down of. You know. Have a whiteboard or have a notebook where, in the morning, you write down tasks that I need to complete, tasks that I get to complete. This is another really important thing that I integrate into my routine is I get to do these things right. I get to meet with these clients, I get to train these dogs. When we shift the way that we look at these tasks and the way that we look at our routine and that we get to do it instead of we have to do it, it really changes our state of mind. So that's something to kind of like you know, a little little thing to integrate into your routine. But you know, I'm really big on the morning sets the tone for how our day goes, whatever that looks like for you, whether it's sitting on your front porch watching your hummingbird or making a checklist that you can check off throughout the day, take time for yourself in the morning. Take that time. I promise it is going to set the tone for the rest of your day.
Speaker 1:Schedule in the things that are important to you. So I mentioned exercising. I will literally schedule that into my Google calendar. If I do not put it in my Google calendar, it does not happen, it does not manifest. I have to put it in the Google calendar and I will follow my Google calendar right? So if you need to do that, you need to do that. You need to schedule time for yourself. Schedule time for you know, physical fitness, schedule time for meditation. This is something that I've been integrating more and more into my routine. I set a timer on my phone for 15 minutes.
Speaker 1:Today I again went and sat on my porch. I like to sit outside because my home has kind of turned into my work, so it's helpful for me to separate myself physically from the space that I work in, to kind of help myself separate mentally. So I set a 15 minute timer on my phone. I sat, I leaned my back up against the house, closed my eyes and just breathed for 15 minutes. I would itch, you know. I'd get a scratch and be like oh, I need to check my phone. Nope, you're not going to check your phone. Go back to your breath. Just focus on your breath, always go back to your breath. You'll find that it's very, very difficult.
Speaker 1:So I always recommend integrating some sort of mindfulness practice into your day, whether that's sitting, meditation and focusing on your breath, or even just taking yourself for a walk. You know, staring up at the brain, that it's difficult to live with. You know, and we kind of realize, that we have that too when we take the time to sit and witness our thoughts and focus on our breath. So, regardless of what your routine is, I recommend you set some time aside for yourself in the morning, set the tone for your day, schedule out, you know, workout time, fitness time, whatever that looks like for you, and schedule out some time to check in with yourself mentally, whether that's, you know, walking meditation or sitting meditation, or, you know, just sitting and hanging out with your thoughts. I think that's really really important, just sitting and hanging out with your thoughts. I think that's really really important. And if we all focused on ourselves and showing up for ourselves in that way, I think the world would just be a better place. So create a routine for yourself that includes that self-care, whatever that may look like for you, kind of going into our next thing.
Speaker 1:Practice the state of mind you need before conflict arises. Oftentimes we kind of live in a perfectionist mentality where we believe that if something bad goes wrong, that we've messed up, we're a failure of a trainer. Like I've had dogs get sick. I've had a dog get out of my yard before. You know I've. I've had bad things happen. I've had people yell at me. I've had people write bad reviews. I've had people leave mean comments. I've you know I've had people try to steal my business. Like I've had people pretend to be me. I've had people send me hate mail.
Speaker 1:Okay, if I did not practice mindfulness and witnessing my thoughts and separating myself from my feelings, I would not be able to successfully navigate conflict when it arises. So, very similarly to training a dog indoors before we take them outside, we need to practice the state of mind that we want to be in when conflict arises, which is, you know, a calm, tuned in state of mind versus, you know, never practicing, never meditating, never checking in with ourselves, and then, when conflict arises, we're like whoa and our emotions just go off the rails. But if we train ourselves in the home, just like how we train our dogs, if we practice meditating, if we practice, you know, that calm state of mind, witnessing our thoughts, creating a little space, you know, between ourselves and our thoughts, between our identity and our thoughts when conflict does arise, it allows us to, you know, more calmly navigate that conflict and also not take it so personally. A lot of people ask me how I handle negative comments that come to me on social media, whether it's like podcast reviews or comments on posts that I've made or tech talks, or whatever it may be. They're scared to make content because they're scared of you know that conflict, those mean comments, that stuff. But I've honestly, like, practiced it. I've gone through it. I've taught myself that I can navigate it and be okay on the other side. But it doesn't come without practice. You have to practice that state of mind that you want to be in in moments of conflict. Outside of moments of conflict, when you have a reactive dog, you don't immediately go outside the dog park and start trying to teach the dog to engage with you. You're gonna be unsuccessful. We train our dog in a sterile environment, in a low distraction area. We build up the skills that we need and then we slowly integrate that training around the distractions and around the things that trigger our dogs. So I want you to look at yourself as a dog in this way and I want you to practice that calm state of mind in your home, in calm moments, so that when conflict does arise, you're able to navigate it. You're able to separate yourself from it. You're not identifying yourself with the problem, with the negative comment, with the upset client, with whatever conflict it may be. You're able to navigate that without you know, essentially going off the rails. I think you know the.
Speaker 1:The moral of this podcast is really we're all very similar to dogs. You know dog training and human training and therapy Like it's all very similar. We need to practice the application on ourselves just as much as we do with our dogs. Lastly, I want to talk about always leading with compassion for dogs and people Emphasis on our people. I think a lot of professionals that get into this industry focus very heavily on compassion and empathy for the dogs and I love that. I think that's important, right? Like obviously we all love dogs.
Speaker 1:If you're here and you're listening to this podcast and you're a dog trainer or a dedicated dog owner, like you love dogs, you're compassionate with dogs, you're you know, you feel for them, we want to do what's best for them. But I find that you know, especially nowadays, I feel like I'm a million years old, but nowadays I see trainers kind of attacking owners and it's very easy to get in that place, especially when you first start training dogs, because you realize like, holy shit, it's really bad out here. Like people have no idea what they're doing with their dogs and as a dog trainer, you're saying the same thing over and over and over again and you're seeing the same problem behaviors and you know what is like causing those problem behaviors and you want to shut it from the rooftop. And you know people and be like stop going to dog parks, stop letting your dog greet dogs on a leash, like what are you thinking? And we kind of forget to be compassionate and empathetic for our owners. But the thing is our owners don't know, like they, literally they don't know any better and we have to be able to, you know, show up and support them in the same way that we work with. And you know it's very easy to point fingers and blame, but that's not going to help the situation.
Speaker 1:What we really need to do is we really need to say okay, I see the issue here. I see that you know owners just simply don't know. The solution to this is proper education and being empathetic. You know you're not going to bully an owner into complying with you. You know, just like how we don't want to bully a dog into doing something with us. No one wants compulsion training. It's the same way for our clients. Like we need to stop hating on what dog owners are doing and we need to provide support and compassion and empathy, because at one point we were all there. We have all been to a place where we just you know you don't know any better. You don't know any better, and that's probably what got you in the position of dog training and wanting to help people. Is you just want to, you know, help people with things that you now know, that you didn't know before. So we really need to be compassionate with our owners, with the people, with the, also, of course, with ourselves.
Speaker 1:Always lead with compassion. At the end of the day, you're doing the best that you can, okay? So don't get, you know, hung up on the little things. Don't beat yourself up. All you can do each day is show up and do your best. That's it. You know, at the end of the day, check in with yourself. Did I give everything that I can? Sometimes it's not 100%, sometimes we don't have 100% to give. Sometimes we're not always so compassionate with ourselves or with our owners. Or I got frustrated with this dog, or I got frustrated with this owner. That's okay, you know. The first step is recognizing that and being able to move forward and start over the next day. Right, that's all that we can do.
Speaker 1:But I really do want you to show up compassionately for yourself. I know that it's an exhausting job and you know nobody's going to like give you pats on the back and be like, oh good job, you know like you're doing great. Sometimes it can feel like a thankless job, but you have to be your biggest fan. You have to show up for yourself, because you know nobody else is, and if you don't show up for yourself, how can you expect others to show up for yourself? So be compassionate, take care of yourself. You know, value your well-being just like how you value the dogs and owners that you work with. That way, you can show up as your best self for them, because we all know we cannot pour from an empty cup. So I'm going to wrap it up there.
Speaker 1:I have, you know, rambled on quite long enough. As a reminder, we have our in-person well, I'm not even going to call it a shout out program anymore. We have our leadership retreat mid-September. I would love for me, for me, I would love for you to join me. Whether you're a new dog trainer, experienced dog trainer or dog owner, you are welcome. I want to meet you. I want to mentor you. This is something that I'm so excited for. So I hope that you can join me in this journey and, as always, we have a ton of training resources out there. I have a free community of you know guides and videos for you. If you'd like to learn how to teach your dog a loose lead walk, if you want to learn a little bit more about marker words, our communication systems with our dogs, you can join our community. I'll include the link in the show notes. You can always check out. You know the link in my bio on my social media as well, so you can join the community.
Speaker 1:We've got our virtual shadow program starting June 3rd. I'm super pumped for that. I think we've got one more space available. So if that's something that you're interested in, again, I'll include the link in the show notes for that. You can check that out. It's a three-week program. Super pumped about it. The last turnout was amazing. We've already got like a solid group of people you know this next round very excited about this year and all of the fun. You know leadership and shadow programs that we've got going on. But, as always, I thank you so, so much for being here. It genuinely like means the world to me this compassionate with yourself, prioritize yourself this week, do something for yourself and I'll see you back here next week. Bye, we'll see you next time.