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The Everyday Trainer Podcast
The Everyday Trainer Podcast
13 Rules for Good Dog Owner Etiquette
This episode explores essential dog etiquette rules to help owners navigate public spaces responsibly. Meg emphasizes the importance of respecting boundaries for both dogs and their owners to foster a safe and positive experience in community interactions.
• Importance of being considerate toward other dogs and their owners
• Experiences highlighting the struggles of off-leash encounters
• Teaching children to respect a dog’s personal space
• The consequences of misunderstanding dog behavior in public
• Core rules of dog etiquette to change public perceptions
• Addressing entitlement and setting boundaries
• Recognizing the unique needs of individual dogs in various social settings
• Encouragement to promote shared understanding among dog owners
Thank you for listening! If you'd like to support the podcast, please consider sharing this episode with fellow dog owners.
To Donate to Pasadena Humane Society and help them care for the animals effected by the fires, visit their website here.
To book an in person lesson with Meg (or virtual session) visit our website here.
Hello, hello and welcome back to the Everyday Trainer podcast. My name is Meg and I am a dog trainer. Today's episode we're going to talk about 13 rules for proper dog etiquette. So if you have a dog, this is kind of my like special service announcement episode of how to behave out in public with your dog. So I'm recording this. In the morning I got my coffee. Grab yourselves a tasty drink and meet me back here. Hey guys, welcome back. Thanks so much for being patient with me.
Speaker 1:I know last week we didn't have an episode, but it felt kind of icky, especially with everything that's kind of going on in LA. So I hope that you know. But there are, or have been, some massive fires that have devastated LA. We were in the LA area last week while they were going on and we are mobile, so it's not a big deal for us. We were able to go down to San Diego, but there are so many people that were affected by these devastating fires so there are a ton of like people out there that are donating. I think a lot of the places are no longer accepting physical donations, but they are accepting financial donations. So I donated to, I believe, the Pasadena Humane Society just money. I think that's kind of what they're looking for right now. I will make sure to include a link in the show notes of resources for you to donate to help people affected by these fires. It's been absolutely devastating. People are affected, their animals are affected and, yeah, I'm just keeping everybody in mind and trying to come up with ways that we can help these folks out.
Speaker 1:So today I really wanted to get into dog owner etiquette. I feel like recently I've been kind of back in the game. I know that on previous episodes I talked about how I feel kind of out of touch when I'm not directly working with owners. So I have been booked and busy with lessons and with that means that I am out in public and shocking the public is out there. I don't know if you guys have like existed or gone to a public park with people's dogs, but it is truly a crazy, crazy world out there and I've had a handful of just like is with the public. So the most noteworthy one was I was in the Encinitas area, which is like North San Diego, and we're at a public park. The park did have off-leash hours, but off-leash hours started at three so I decided to do a lesson there with one of my clients and, to no surprise, while we were working, his dog, a off-leash dog, came up to us.
Speaker 1:Now I'm not like going to freak out, I'm not that type of person but while we're like actively training his dog and it's so very clear that we're in a training session I have Toma recording the whole thing my client's dog is like starting to be reactive, kind of like losing it at this Dalmatian that is approaching us and this dog is like glued to me, like his dog is like up my butt, literally like sniffing up my butt, and the guy is just standing, probably like five feet away, just staring at us with like his arms crossed, and you can tell that he's very used to people coming up to him and being like, oh my gosh, what a cute dog. You know, because he has a Dalmatian and that's one of those breeds that typically gets like a lot of attention. So he's kind of standing there waiting, waiting for that response from us, and we're in the process of training, right? I look at my client and I was like hey, just go over there, just move over there. I have a treat pouch on me.
Speaker 1:So the dog is like glued to my side and this guy is just standing there, and so I look over at the guy and I was like, is this your dog? And he was like yeah. And I was like do you mind calling him? And he was like this is a dog park. And I was like okay, um, do you mind calling him? Like we're in a training session. And he was like I pay a lot in property taxes. I'm allowed to be here. That's literally what he said to me and I said I'm sure you do. And he said my dog is friendly. And I said I'm sure she do. And he said my dog is friendly and I said I'm sure she is. And then he looked at his dog and he said not everyone's as friendly and beautiful as you like, referencing to me.
Speaker 1:And we just walked away, right, like there's nothing that you can do with that in that moment, right. And he's like this is a dog park, so if you wait 30 minutes, this is going to be packed with dogs. And I was like is it off leash? And he was like yeah, it's off leash. And I was like I don't think it is, because I read the sign before I was coming in and it said absolutely no off leash dogs. Outside of off leash hours you will get a citation like if there are any issues. You know, like one of those signs I'm like whatever, I don't live here, I'm not going to like pick a fight with this like privileged white man, right? So whatever we go on about our session, he goes over to the other side of the park where there is another person with an off leash dog. Again, I don't care like if the dog is off leash, I just want, like I don't want somebody else's dog like literally up my butt whenever I'm doing a training session and I don't know why he would want that either.
Speaker 1:So it feels like with dogs we've kind of lost all common sense, like common sense has gone out the window to the park and maybe this does happen like I don't have a kid, so I have no idea like what parenting is like today. But imagine going to a park and like, let's say, your kid is like with an instructor or even, let's say, like a pool, right, you're going to the pool and there's a child there doing swim lessons and you're letting your kid hang on the swim instructor. Like at what point are you going to be? Like hey, buddy, they're trying to do something. Come over here Like it. Am I? Am I the crazy one? Am I the crazy one here? So that's kind of like what I'm thinking whenever I have these interactions with folks is I don't care that your dog is off leash. You know, like I love that, I love that you get to have your dog off leash, I love that you live in a big, expensive house and pay a bunch of money in taxes. So you feel you know the need to tell me that I genuinely love that for you. But I just I feel like our manners have kind of gone out the window of like hey, if somebody is doing something they probably don't want your dog like up their butt Crazy, crazy concept. And you know, we had another kind of interaction. This one wasn't as negative. I would say Like I think it came from a place of just like genuinely wanting to say hi to my dog, of just like genuinely wanting to say hi to my dog.
Speaker 1:But Millie is my golden retriever, one of my golden retrievers. She gets overly excited with people because she is very, very cute, and so everyone that sees her is like, oh my gosh, she's so cute. Every single time I take her out, she gets that reaction. So now when we walk past people and they make googly eyes at her, she jumps up on them, she goes crazy right and it's like a thing that I actively have to work through every single day. So whenever I take her out in public, I typically tell people hey, she's not super friendly. I know she looks really cute, but she's not always friendly. Can you give us space? Most people are very respectful of this.
Speaker 1:We were standing at a crosswalk the other day and Toma had Hawk and I had Millie. Hawk is not a dog that wants to be pet Like. He is a sweet dog. He's great as long as you aren't reaching into his space. I find that not a lot of dogs actually love strangers reaching over them or getting into their bubble. We have to think that they are dogs, they're not people, and even people you wouldn't love if a stranger came up and like squeezed your cheeks, like that would be. That would be really weird, right? So dogs are like that and he had hawk and we're always very mindful, whenever we take out the malinois, that we make sure to create lots of space.
Speaker 1:We're socializing them, meaning we're doing like exposure training, but we don't want anybody interacting with them just because they don't like it. Right, and Malinois love to bite. They would happily create some space by biting somebody. I'm not willing to put somebody at risk of that and I'm not willing to put my dog at risk for something like that. So, anyways, we're walking down the street and we're at a crosswalk waiting for the crosswalk sign to go across and someone comes up behind us lets their dog get into Millie's space as like oh, my dog wants to say hi. They're kind of like giving leeway in the leash and I look at her and I said hey, she's not friendly. And she goes oh, ok, okay, pulls her dog back over to her, we'll create some space. I said, great, thank you.
Speaker 1:The guy that she was with on the other side of her crossed over her, came over to Millie and started like leaning over Millie, petting Millie and Millie doesn't love this. Like she gets excited, but it's more so kind of like she wants to like get out of the situation, like she doesn't love strangers coming up into her space and being like aggressively affectionate with her. Sometimes she does, but in this case like she was just kind of passively sitting there like it, and the guy looks at me, he goes, well, she's friendly with me and that like I would. In the moment I was just kind of standing there like like smiling one, because I know that Millie's not going to do anything to this guy, but Millie was kind of looking at me like uh, uh, what do I do, you know? Like it it really does damage like our relationship when I'm standing there allowing something to happen that like she doesn't really love. And I think this really goes much deeper than just like a lack of boundaries with people Like for me, I think that that is a huge, huge issue, because what other areas like is this person not respecting boundaries? Like that was such a simple, clear boundary that I was setting of like hey, she's not friendly, we're not doing interactions.
Speaker 1:The lady with the dog understood. She immediately, immediately, pulled her dog back. She was like no problem. And for this guy to like come over and completely come out of his way to show me that what I said is untrue and oh well, I have to prove it to you right, she is friendly, of course she's friendly, she's a golden retriever. It was mind-blowing to me and I left and I felt like I don't want to say violated, because it's not that big of a deal.
Speaker 1:But if somebody would have done that to Minka, like my Malinois, it would have been a completely different scenario. Like I would have had to be very aggressive with that person if they came over and tried to pet her. I would either have to like pull Minka out of the situation, run away, or I would have to be like hey, I said she's not friendly and like really set firm boundaries with this person, and I don't think that we should have to do that right, like I don't think that I should have to be an aggressive person in order for you to understand boundaries. And ultimately, this is the same mentality of dogs that struggle with behavioral issues is a lot of times they do not like these types of interactions, but they've learned that aggression keeps other dogs away or aggression keeps people away and that is how they set their boundary, and it's the same with people. So if you've always had a super friendly dog, that's amazing. I am so happy for you. If you've never had a reactive dog or a behavioral dog or an aggressive dog or a fear aggressive dog, like, you might not just like understand, you might not know what you're doing to dogs when you don't respect their boundaries you're doing to dogs when you don't respect their boundaries.
Speaker 1:And I do think that there's a reason that in the US, our dogs are so bad compared to dogs in other countries. And I think it's this mentality of if a dog is out in public, we have the right to go up and pet that dog. And just just recently I got a message on Instagram so I made a post about hey, stop doing on leash greetings. Not only is it creating reactivity in dogs, but dogs don't want you in their space. Like, just ignore dogs. That's kind of my general PSA to everybody is just ignore dogs.
Speaker 1:Most people want their dogs to be calm and neutral and not have big reactions every time they see a person or another dog. And that starts with us changing our mentality around seeing dogs in public. Just because a dog is out in public doesn't mean that that dog wants you in their space. It doesn't mean that you know that owner isn't actively trying to work through behavioral issues. And also, at the end of the day, like I want to be able to take Minka out, I want to be able to do exposure training with her, but I don't trust the public and so I stopped doing it and I kind of had a breakdown the other day after the whole Millie situation and even like, as we were walking back to the vans, another person had a Frenchie on a flexi lead and I had Millie, toma had Hawk and this person is behind us and we're crossing the street, so it's not like there's anywhere we can go, like we're on a crosswalk and this person is letting their frenchie like literally come up between my legs to like get in Millie's space and like Toma had hawks, so Toma like took off like across the way and I'm like trying to get away from this Frenchie and this person is just behind me, like letting their dog come all up into our space.
Speaker 1:And it's just it's so mind-blowing to me because I'm I'm literally just trying to cross the street, like I don't want to do an on-leash greeting right now, like I just want to be able to walk my dog. So after that I literally had like a mental breakdown in my van and I was like it makes me so upset because I can't even take Minka out, because Minka is not a dog that is going to allow a rude dog to come up into her space. She's not going to allow a person to pet her. She doesn't want to be pet and I think that's totally fair and valid. But because people do not respect boundaries of dogs, even after we verbally say those boundaries hey, my dog is not friendly, my dog does not want to pet like, say hi to your dog, she does not want to be pet. People do not respect those boundaries. So it sucks, right.
Speaker 1:And Minka is not necessarily a behavioral dog, but she is a dog that I have to worry about if somebody reaches into her space. And I also have behavioral dogs I have a pity in my care right now. She is not friendly with other dogs. If she didn't have a muzzle on and another dog came up to her like that, she would attack that dog. I don't think it's fair for her to live a life in a crate.
Speaker 1:I think she deserves to go out, but we can't go out in a place where there is the public. Same thing with my German Shepherd, gretchen. I think Gretchen deserves to go out. I think she deserves to go for walks in our neighborhood, but not if I can't set boundaries with people. So we have really got to change our mentality and entitlement around dogs in public. Just because a dog is in public does not mean that gives you the right to interact with those dogs, and if you've never had a behavioral dog before, you just don't understand. But if you have a behavioral dog, I hope that this resonates with you because you understand what it's like to constantly be on edge with your dog out in public, because you never know who is going to allow their Frenchie on a 20-foot flexi lead to come up into your dog's space. It's something that you're always having to think about.
Speaker 1:So recently I got a message on Instagram from a post that I made. This person said you've got to be kidding right. What's with all the uptight dog owners and behavior experts? Dogs are social. Part of having a dog is the social component. My late golden retriever brought joy to hundreds, maybe thousands of people in his 11 years. I have a dog that loves meeting everyone and a dog that couldn't be bothered. If you don't like interactions, take it from me. The sidewalks are empty at 6 am. Also, get a pit bull and watch people cross the street to avoid you.
Speaker 1:This is the exact mentality that I am talking about. This is so, so toxic to dog ownership and to people who are actively training their dogs because they're expected that if your dog doesn't want to say hi to dogs, then either don't take your dog out or take them out at 6 am when no one else is there. Right, and we have got to change this. We have got to embody some level of empathy for people who have dogs that might not want to say hi to your dog. And not only that, but I have had tons of lessons over the past two weeks. Every single dog, every single dog that I have had a lesson with I'm talking, you know, just in the past week I've had six lessons Every single dog struggles with reactivity. Five out of those six dogs greets other dogs on walk and their reactivity is stemming from frustration when they are not allowed to greet other dogs. Nothing good comes from greeting dogs on leash.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna put that statement there. If you have a nice friendly dog, a nice friendly golden retriever that you know makes people's day, that's totally fine. But if you are greeting one of these dogs, just ask for permission. I have golden retrievers Literally every single day. I take my dogs out. People ask me oh my gosh, can I say hi With Zoe? Absolutely, go say hi to Zoe, does not bother me at all With Lucy, my red golden. She hates being pet by people. She does not like people in her space. She won't do anything, but she hates it and I don't think that that's fair for her for me to be like. Well, suck it up, lucy, get pet. Because this random stranger that we're never going to see again wants to pet you. So I'm going to go through.
Speaker 1:I wrote 13 rules down of kind of dog owner etiquette and I know that I'm kind of preaching to the choir. If you guys are here, most likely you know this people who maybe have never had a behavioral dog or who maybe think that it's their right to greet every dog in public and maybe, just maybe this can open people's eyes to another world that they don't always see, and maybe a little bit of empathy will kind of seep in there. Of a little bit of empathy will kind of seep in there. All we can ask for, right? So number one I'm sure you can guess what this one is Do not allow your dog to rush up to dogs they don't know, especially on leash, like I said, on leash greetings, like I could not give you one benefit of on leash greetings, the reason why on leash greetings are so bad is because our dogs have essentially three responses fight, flight or freeze.
Speaker 1:When our dogs are on leash, we're taking away their flight response. So let's say two dogs are greeting on leash. Not only is this incredibly unnatural because dogs typically are not greeting each other restrained They'll typically sniff each other's butts first and then they go nose to nose. But when we do on leash greetings, we're just skipping that first step and we're going nose to nose. So it creates a lot of conflict, it creates a lot of tension, plus the added tension of the leash and the dog not being able to leave the situation if they ever feel uncomfortable. So a lot of dogs have learned to use fight or aggression to create space whenever they're feeling uncomfortable in these on-leash greetings. Most fights are going to happen in these on-leash greetings.
Speaker 1:So I would encourage you, instead of doing on-leash greetings, reward your dog for engaging with you instead of engaging with other dogs. Yes, dogs are social, but essentially you are your dog's pack. So wolves, if we're comparing modern dogs to wolves, wolves have their family unit right. They're not typically interacting with other family units. They simply just travel with that family unit together. They're not crossing paths with other units right, but with dogs you are your family unit. You and your dog are a unit and it's a bit unnatural for us to constantly be greeting other dogs all the time when we're on the walk, because it's like you're greeting other family units. So rule number two always ask permission before interacting with someone's dog or allowing your dog to interact with someone's dog. So number two always ask permission before interacting with someone's dog or allowing your dog to interact with someone's dog. If you do want your dog to interact with a dog, simply ask, and if the person is okay with that, then that's totally fine. But there's absolutely nothing wrong with asking.
Speaker 1:Some people have a super friendly dog that loves to greet other dogs on leash. Great, I don't care if your dog is reactive and you're totally fine with that. I don't care. I think that's the thing that, like, people don't understand with me is like I don't care that that guy's dog was off leash, like I don't, I don't care that he didn't have a recall. That does not bother me, right Cause it doesn't bother him. But when I get lessons with people and they're like it drives me crazy that my dog is reactive every time I take them out and I'm like okay, you have to stop on leash greetings. And they're like do I have to? And I'm like I don't care if you do, I'm just telling you the solution to your problem, right? Like, if this thing is bothering you, if it's bothering you that your dog is reactive, I'm like telling you the solution. So it's totally up to you if you want to do it or not. If you are fine, having a reactive dog like it literally does not affect me in the slightest, you know. So I think that there are some. Maybe I mean, I have no idea I'm sure there are dog trainers out there who feel very passionately about like all of these things. But if you're fine with the you know downsides of the things that you're doing, it's fine, doesn't affect me. You know't need to say hi to every dog we see.
Speaker 1:So I've done a lot of traveling. I've traveled to a lot of countries in South America. I've been to Spain, I've been to Morocco, colombia, nicaragua Puerto Rico is not a country, but I've been to Puerto Rico, uh, some other places, I'm sure Belize. And in all of these places, something always surprises me is how calm and stable the dogs are, even just like the street dogs. Oh, costa Rica. That was my most recent one and for the most part, I think this is due to the fact that everybody is just ignoring dogs. The dogs are just allowed to walk around, the owners are allowed to walk around with their dogs and there's not the oh my gosh, a dog response every time they go somewhere. I'm going to call my stepsister out a little bit.
Speaker 1:When we were in Costa Rica together. She is very much like the American girl who sees every single dog and is like oh my gosh, she is like it was very obvious that she is that way, right. Whereas, like everybody else who had kind of been there for a while was neutral to dogs, like they're just used to dogs. There's not the big, like explosive emotional reaction every time you see a dog and I feel like because of that, the dogs are just chill, like they're calm, they're neutral, they're stable. Even when I went to Spain, you know people are just walking down the street with off leash dogs and you see all the Americans go oh my gosh, the dog is so cute, oh my gosh, right. And they're making this big, big response to like seeing a dog. We see dogs all the time. Why are we having these big, big reactions to it? So, for the most part, ignore dogs, right, it's going to make them calm, confident, more neutral. Right, it's going to make them calm, confident, more neutral, and that's really kind of the shift that we need to see in dogs, particularly in this country.
Speaker 1:Number four teach your kids to respect dog's space. So I'm sure you see it all the time on social media we see videos of kids reaching into dogs' faces and grabbing their cheeks and it's like, oh so cute, please don't do this. I have so many horror stories of kids getting bit, people getting bit from doing stuff like this. So just because a dog is out in public again does not mean that that dog wants to be interacted with. Teach your kids to respect dog space and make sure that they always ask for your permission and then you always ask the owner's permission before allowing the child to go and reach into their space.
Speaker 1:I remember I took Minka out to. I was doing a lesson and we were going to like a public place and we're getting dinner with one of my clients. I had Minka out in a down stay and I like was sitting there to where she was on my left-hand side in a down and my client was over to the right. So I was talking to them and while I was talking to them, three kids came over and all were leaning over Minka. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. And I looked up and I could not find, like the parents anywhere and I was like, hey guys, she doesn't want to be pet. And she did a great job. She just like sat there and she was like looking at me like mom, mom, and I was like, hey guys, she doesn't want to be pet, why not? And they just like continued pet her. Hey guys, she does not want to be pet. Can you, can you guys move away or go and pet this other dog? We had another dog that was like more tolerant and I was like, hey, go pet her. Go pet her, right, so I don't want to have to like, do that with your children. Um, so, as a parent, just teach your kids to respect dog space and always ask permission. If they're older, they can ask you know the owner's permission, or they can go to you and ask if they're allowed to pet a dog, but make sure that there's some space between you, them wanting to pet a dog and then going over and petting that dog. Let's create some permission based training with our kids for the safety of your kids as well, not just because of dogs. All right.
Speaker 1:Number five If someone looks like they are training their dog, leave them alone. Their dog, leave them alone I. You would think you would think that this would be kind of like common knowledge, but it's not. If somebody is out in public training their dog, they're probably training their dog to be neutral out in public and I think it's totally okay to walk up and ask you questions. I think people are very curious, but there are, like, just keep moving and don't allow your dog to go up to a dog who looks like they are actively training. Okay, this is just one of those things. I don't think that I have to say it, but apparently I do, you know.
Speaker 1:Number six just because someone is in an off-leash area with their dog doesn't mean they want your dog interacting with theirs. Some people just want to take their dogs. Off-leash areas are kind of few and far between the actually designated off-leash areas. Me and Toma have been very good about only letting our dogs off in off-leash areas because I feel like it's my job to kind of lead by example and I have control over my dogs. I have verbal control. They are e-caller trained. I know that, no matter. And I have control over my dogs, like I have verbal control. We, they are e-caller trained, like I know that, no matter what, I can recall my dogs. Not everybody has that and they let their dogs off leash.
Speaker 1:But we always respect leash laws and if we are taking our dogs out in public to an off leash area, I don't necessarily want other people's dogs like playing with mine, not that, like my dogs aren't going to be able to play, but I'm sorry, I don't trust y'all. People think that their dogs are way more friendly and social than they actually are and social than they actually are, and I see it all the time. So I don't really want like other dogs, being all up in my dog's space and also going back to dogs learning to use aggression to keep other dogs away. I find that sometimes people will take their dogs off leash and their dogs will be extremely pushy with my dogs and my dogs are very tolerant. They will set clear boundaries but if the dog doesn't respect those boundaries, they're going to correct that dog and then it looks like my dogs are the bad guy because your dog is an asshole and continues to push and push and push. So just because you see somebody out in public with their dogs off leash or in an off leash area doesn't always mean that like they want their dogs like constant, or they don't always want your dog in their dog space, and so I have been cursed out and told that I'm a bitch because I've made space Like we went to a.
Speaker 1:I think I've talked about this on the podcast before, but I took my dogs to an off leash park in Tampa and the reason why I took them there it's like a dog park, but I took them there because it is on the beach and it's like one of the only places that you can take your dog to like swim in the ocean on the Tampa and it's like one of the only places that you can take your dog to like swim in the ocean on the Tampa side of Florida. And I knew, I knew, I knew that I was going to a dog park, but I was like whatever, it's huge, right, it's like the whole line of the coast will just go into the water. Like I'll swim with the dogs, it'll be fine and you know whatever. So then I had all of my dogs out and this doodle comes in and I knew that this doodle was going to be a problem. The second, it like walked through the fence because it's immediately just charging up to dogs and, if you don't know, that's like very rude in dog world. Like a dog just like rushing up into other dogs space like super fast, and this dog would just not leave us alone. And I look around and like the owners are like standing at the complete other side of the dog park, just like not even by their dog, and I keep having to like like this dog keeps humping Minka and so I keep having to grab this doodle and like rip him off Minka, grab this doodle, rip him off Minka, and he like will not stop humping her. And so I'm like all right, well, we're just gonna like move.
Speaker 1:So then we go to like the other side of the park where there's like no water and this dog follows us and is not leaving us alone, and like there's a whole bunch of other dogs there, like there's no reason why the owner couldn't come over and like clearly see that I am struggling to get their dog off of my dog. Like my dog doesn't want to be humped by your dog and my dog is about to correct your dog if you don't get them, we ended up just leaving. But like to just stand there and like watch your dog continuously, like try to help my dog and you do nothing about it, just because we're in an off leash area, is absolutely absurd to me and just like the same interaction that like I had at the park recently where we're like training yes, we're at an off leash park, but it was not off leash hours. I literally have a picture of it, you know, and like I clearly don't want your dog in our space. Like this guy is struggling with his reactive dog and you're just standing there while he's trying to like physically remove his dog because his dog is reacting to your dog, and like you can't walk to the other side of the park. Like I didn't even say like can you leash your dog? No, I was just like hey, can you call your dog, you know, but he wouldn't even do that because of like the level of entitlement, of like well, I, I pay to be here, you know that sort of thing. So like just because your dog is in a off leash area doesn't mean that, like everybody wants your dog interacting with them Crazy, I know, going along with this number seven if you take your dog off-leash, have verbal control over them.
Speaker 1:If you don't have control over them, they shouldn't be off-leash Again, not really needs to be said, but I think part of the reason that guy was so upset that I asked if he could call his dog is because he couldn't. He tried and his dog would not come to him in those moments. So it's embarrassing when you have a dog that won't even listen to you. If you do not have verbal control over your dog, they should not be off-leash Just because you're at a dog park, just because you're in a designated off-leash area. If something were to happen and you could not bring your dog back to you, that's a problem. So I would suggest a flexi-lead or a long line, something that allows you to physically be able to reel your dog in in those moments, instead of just standing there like, oh shoot, well, I can't really do anything. I can't call my dog off of that other dog or I can't call my dog off of a dog fight. So if you do not have verbal control of your dog, they should not be off leash. That leash is going to be your control.
Speaker 1:Number eight don't get butthurt if someone tells you, no, it's almost never about you or your dog. This is one of those things where, when we do set boundaries with people, we typically get some backlash right. Hey, I'm not doing interactions today. Do you mind pulling your dog away? Oh, my gosh, why would you take your dog out here? It's literally almost never about you, and this is kind of my life motto. I don't take literally anything personally and as somebody who shows up pretty consistently on the internet and in this podcast, I get a ton of hate. I've gotten hate mail sent to my house. I get mean comments every single day. If I were to take all of that personally, I wouldn't be able to do what I do, so for me it like nothing is personal.
Speaker 1:There's typically some sort of insecurity in somebody. Right, maybe they're the kid that didn't have a lot of friends and so now they're kind of living through their dog and they want their dog to have a lot of friends and be super friendly and popular. And when you say, hey, I don't want to say hi to your dog, it triggers that insecurity in them. That's kind of what I go back to, but it's almost never about you. So if someone tells you no, it's typically them setting boundaries for themselves and for their own dogs. So don't take it personally. I promise you it's not about you.
Speaker 1:Number nine goes into exactly what I just said. Don't project your need for social interaction on your dog. I promise your dog doesn't get upset when a dog doesn't want to play with them. That's just not how dogs operate. Like they do not feel any type of way. When a dog doesn't want to interact with them, they're like okay, right and move on. But when it comes to people, we really do take it personally, like we really do think oh my gosh, this person doesn't want to say hi to my dog. Like that's so mean, that's so rude. Oh my gosh, I can't believe. They told me no, I can't pet their dog Like we were.
Speaker 1:I was doing a go-home session one time and again with a golden retriever. So something that this owner struggled with is everybody coming up to her dog. We were training the dog for like prerequisites for service dog work and a big part of that is obviously neutrality. So with service dogs we don't want people coming up and petting them because we want them to be focused on their task, on their work, right? So we were doing a down stay out in front of a coffee shop and we were just sitting at a table with both dogs in a down. Somebody walked up to us and she started reaching down to the dogs and I said, oh, I put my hand out. I said, oh, I'm sorry, we're training, you can't say hi.
Speaker 1:This woman, this adult woman, literally threw a temper tantrum and she was like well then, why the fuck are you out in public if I can't say hi to your dog? And I was like, um, I was like, uh, well, we're allowed to be here, we're training, we're teaching our dogs how to be neutral to people. And she got so upset, stormed into the coffee shop. She was like that's absolutely ridiculous, like was making a huge scene at the fact that I just told her, no, she can't like pet my dog. And so, again, I feel like that comes from, like, this projection. But even if, like, I say like no, your dog can't say hi to my dog, your dog is not going to feel any type of way about that. But when you project your own emotions of like, well, my dog is so friendly and my dog is so social, like, why would you not want my dog to interact with you? It's not about you, it doesn't matter how friendly your dog is if my dog's not Right. So, just again, have some level of empathy and understanding that like maybe not everybody has a friendly dog, which a lot of people don't. A lot of people that I work with don't have friendly dogs or even if their dogs are friendly, they don't want them interacting with every single dog that walks down the street. We should be able to feel comfortable taking our dogs out, even if they are in the process of working through behavioral issues. You shouldn't feel like you have to be locked inside your house because you can't trust the general public to not feel entitled to interact with every dog or allow their dog to interact with you.
Speaker 1:Ten, always clean up after your dog. Duh, I have that in parentheses. Duh, if you take your dog out, just be respectful. If they poop somewhere, pick it up. The other day I was walking and I didn't have a poop bag. I ran out like while I was walking my dogs and I went into the store and I asked for a plastic bag and they gave me a plastic bag and I went and picked it up because you know we're nomads, right, we're traveling a lot, so nowhere is my home. I'm always very careful to be extremely respectful wherever I go and clean up after ourselves. An easy one, there's an easy one to follow.
Speaker 1:Number 11, ignore puppies. I know they are cute, but most people want their dog to be neutral and calm in public and when you excitedly greet a puppy, that ruins that. Having a puppy, if you're like dog trainer savvy, is exhausting because every single time you take your puppy out, everybody oh my gosh, so cute, right? That becomes every five minutes. If we change our mentality around dogs and understand that we want dogs to be neutral, it really changes that I do not greet dogs. Like I literally don't greet dogs Every once in a while. If somebody has like a dog that's like dressed up in a costume and like very clearly wants you to greet their dog, I'll be like can I say hi to your dog? And they're like yeah, for sure. And then I'll say hi to the dog and like that's it, you know, but like I always ask, I always ask and I don't just assume that because the dog is out in public, it's like free range for me to greet them. So, with puppies, just be really respectful of people. If somebody has a puppy out and that puppy is really, really cute, just know that you're probably the 100th person to make googly eyes at that puppy and freak out whenever you see the puppy and want to pet it. I know that they're super cute, but the best thing that you can do for that puppy is to ignore them.
Speaker 1:Number 12, don't bring your behavioral dog to a farmer's market or busy coffee shop. Not all dogs are coffee shop dogs. I get this one a lot because I work with owners who have behavioral dogs and the goal for them is typically like oh, I want to take my dog out, I want to take my aggressive dog with a bite history to run club. I want to take my dog to farmer's markets, I want to take them to coffee shops. So while I believe that all dogs deserve to go for a walk or, you know, go to the park every now and then, not every single dog is suited for every social event.
Speaker 1:Some dogs hate that and if you're a good owner, you should understand what your dog likes and what your dog dislikes and create a life around that. So, gretchen, for example, my shepherd, like she would hate to be in a busy public place where there's a whole bunch of people and kids and stuff going on around her. That would be incredibly overstimulating to her. And for me to want to train her to do that is very selfish. Because I'm looking at my dog and I'm saying, hey, I know that you hate doing this, but I'm going to train you and make you do it anyways. I just I don't think that that's fair. Train you and make you do it anyways. I just I don't think that that's fair. I think that, like, as dog trainers and owners, we should be able to look at our dog, read our dog and focus on doing what they like to do the most.
Speaker 1:So, for example, with Minka this is kind of like going off topic a little bit, but I've talked about it in the past where Minka doesn't really love doing sports and on my podcast last year that I did with Oscar. I was talking about that and he was like then why do you do sports with her? And I was like, huh, it was very much like a selfish thing. And now we've gotten to the point where, like we do it for funsies. I'm not really training for anything serious, it's more so of like a. You know, this is a great way to build your confidence and all of that. But the second the training becomes not fun for her. I don't do it right, I don't go down that road of well, I'm going to make you do this because this is what I want to do. She doesn't really like doing PSA style training. She doesn't like all of that pressure. I'm not going to continue to put her in that, whereas, like Oscar, was having us do ring stuff with her, like leg bites, right, because she's a little more comfortable with that. It's low. There's not as much, like you know, pressure by somebody's face, that sort of thing.
Speaker 1:So being able to read your dog and identify what they like doing most, I think, is very important and we can train them to be able to be more capable to do things. But ultimately we shouldn't be trying to force our dogs to be overly social if they don't want to be and you know the comment that this guy left me of like, dogs are social creatures. Dogs are social creatures but they're not social in the capacity that we force them to be. They do not want to be pet by every single person that's simply conditioned Right. Go to any like country in South America and the dogs are simply just walking around existing and if you try to pet them they'll typically just walk away from you, like they don't really want to be pet by people. We've just reinforced that so much that we've made dogs almost kind of reliant on human affection to function, and I don't think that that is extremely fair or healthy either.
Speaker 1:Number 13, don't judge other people's training methods. You don't know their struggles or their dog. This is a big one. If you see someone out there who is training their dog in a harness with some hot dogs, let them. Right, you don't know their dog, you don't know what they've tried, you don't know what that owner is capable of or what that dog is capable of Let them. If you see someone out in public using an e-collar and using a prong collar, let them. You have no idea what somebody is going through in their training or their struggles or what they've done in research and how they've gotten to that point, and for you to judge someone based on the way that their training is very closed-minded, it's a very immature way of thinking.
Speaker 1:I know that I get questions from people all the time. They're like what do you do when someone says something negative about your prong collar or somebody says something negative about your e-collar? And, to be completely honest with you, when I'm out in public, I don't give off the come talk to me vibes. Like I typically am not interacting with the general public, like I am just out there with my dogs and the look on my face doesn't say like, oh I come, come have a conversation with me, come tell me your opinion about my dog, right? Like I just don't give off those vibes. People do not do that. But you know, let's say somebody did have a negative comment to say about an e-collar that you're using.
Speaker 1:Just know that typically people are scared of things that they don't understand and don't take it personally. That person has not experienced what you have experienced. So how could they understand the tools that you're using? Right, they haven't educated themselves on the training. They don't have a behavioral dog or a dog that benefits from an e-caller, right, they haven't reached that point in their life yet, and that's totally fine. That's totally fine. So just understand that everybody is in a different space. And just because somebody has an opinion about something that you're doing or you know wearing, or the way that you look or you know anything about you. Again it goes back to just don't take it personal. Like literally nothing in life is personal. I don't take anything personally.
Speaker 1:I had a friend of mine recently and she was like, oh yeah, somebody wanted to work with you and I guess they like talked to you on the phone and said that like she didn't want to crate train her dog and I think this was at the time that I was doing board and trains and so she was like I think I think Meg hates me. And she was like why? Like I doubt Meg hates you. And she's like well, I had a, you know. I talked to her and she like I don't think we're going to work together because I don't want to crate train my dog and like she crates dogs. And she was like I guarantee you Meg does not like think about that at all and it's funny because I don't I don't even know who that person is Like it hasn't crossed my mind at all, but in her mind, like she was taking it personally that I said like oh, I don't even know what I said, but I'm assuming we decided not to work together because I like crate train dogs, and so she took that personally and was like, oh, she must not like me because I don't want to crate train my dog Again, I don't care.
Speaker 1:You know, like I genuinely don't care what you do with your dog at all. I am definitely not that type of person. But that's kind of the mentality that so many of us have is like, oh my gosh, like either this person doesn't like me because I do things this way or, you know, yada, yada, yada. But I promise, like if you take the mentality of like it's not personal, it's almost never personal I promise you life is going to be so much easier and, honestly, it's very relaxing because I genuinely I don't dislike anybody, I don't dislike any methodology, I don't dislike pretty much anything I live my life by. I don't take anything personally and if I don't like something, I'm just simply not going to do it Right. It's not that I'm going to go out there and hate on what somebody else is doing. We have completely different lives and completely different experiences. So if you listen to this podcast and you're like I hate this mentality that you have, I'm going to go out and say hi to every dog that I see. That's fine, but if you come up to me and you try to greet my dog, I will set that boundary with you.
Speaker 1:Ok, so this is just my PSA to everybody. I genuinely believe that we have to change our mentality around dogs and how we interact with them, and if you are a longtime listener, none of this is new. You all have known my mentality around all of this, but hopefully you can share it with maybe your clients If you're a dog trainer, or maybe your friends and family if this is a conversation that you have tried to have with them before. Maybe you have a behavioral dog and you want people to understand where you're coming from. I can sometimes come off as a little bit too honest and a little blunt, but sometimes people need to hear it. So I encourage you to share this podcast with the folks around you and try to reach the people that need to be reached right. The people that need the most help aren't the ones who are on Dog Trainer social media. They're not the ones that are listening to Dog Trainer podcasts every week, but if you all can help me share this message and educate folks and maybe create a little bit of empathy in people that, hey, not all dogs are super friendly and it doesn't matter if your dog is.
Speaker 1:There are people out there who are in the process of working through behavioral issues and who are working through things and they want to be able to take their dogs out and not have to worry about people not listening. You know, I genuinely had a full blown mental breakdown the other day because I want to walk Minka down the street but I can't. Where we're at currently, and I will say particularly California, I would always get so many messages from people from California who are like Meg, what do you do when people don't respect you with your boundaries? Meg, what do you do when an off-leash dog rushes you? Like? Every single day I'm getting these messages and I'm like what, what is going on? And now that I'm here, I completely understand because, to be quite honest with you, living in Florida for the past like 11 years, I've never had as many negative interactions with folks as I have.
Speaker 1:Being in California for the past three months with dogs and just the level of entitlement of like people thinking that they can have their dog off leash I have never experienced that. So I don't know if it's like a West Coast thing or if it's just kind of like the areas that we've been hanging out in are a little bit more wealthy and a little white, and I think that comes with you know, some some entitlement there that like I can do whatever I want, right, and it doesn't matter what you want from me. I can have my dog off leash because my dog is friendly and my dog is perfect and you're an asshole, right, kind of that mentality. So this is very new for me as well. But I hear you, I see you, if you have a behavioral dog, know that you are not alone.
Speaker 1:Know that, like if you also have mental breakdowns after taking your dog out in public, like I didn't get to do as many things with her and I walked her down the street and I was like I'm not putting my dog at risk, like I do not want a stranger reaching down and petting her and something bad happening. You know, and that's another thing that maybe we can get into next week is muzzle training. Next week is muzzle training. I've never handed out so many muzzles in my life as I have here in California, not necessarily because of the severity of the dogs, but because of this mentality of people, right, like why risk it? If you have a dog that maybe has a bite history or is reactive or is not dog friendly and you want to take them out, you can do a lot with a muzzle and it creates a lot of like ease for you as well, because you're not having to worry about constantly like scanning your environment for people or other dogs or off leash dogs rushing up to you and that's something that I've considered doing with Minka as well is we're going to be in the process of muzzle conditioning her just so that I feel good and I am not worried about taking her out.
Speaker 1:Because the amount of off-leash dogs or even, like you know, flexi-lead dogs that people like we had, people literally cross a busy road to let their dog come greet our dogs and Tomo was in shock because he has a Malinois and a black German Shepherd and like people part ways when they see his black Shepherd. But with golden retrievers we'll be walking like my three goldens in Minka and like people will drop a leash and like let their dog rush over to our dogs because they just assume that my dogs are dog friendly because they're golden retrievers. So the mentality around dogs has to change. The mentality around like. This entitlement of like if a dog is out in public, I'm allowed to say hi to it has got to change.
Speaker 1:I do think that it's changing, but it's starting with you guys, all of you guys who are here, listening and educating yourselves and watching all of the videos and joining all of the memberships and doing all of the things like this movement starts with you and I am very appreciative for that. So, as always, thank you, thank you, thank you so so much for being here. You guys are the absolute best. I'm going to do a little bit of research as far as how we can help out people who are affected by the fires. I'll include a link in the show notes whenever I've got that if you would like to make a financial donation. But, as always, thank you so much for being here. Hope you all got something out of this and we'll see you next week.